I love midwifery and I love midwives, with all that I am. Midwifery truly changed my life and shaped me into the person, mother and professional that I am today.
Yesterday, I announced to my family and friends that after a lot of reflection and discussion, I’m withdrawing from midwifery school and stepping away from that pursuit. It is certainly bittersweet and emotional to make this choice, but it’s one that I feel good about and that I’ve been considering for a long time.
The toll on my general health, mental well-being, and on my family has been significant. The stress of school, finding a preceptor, the financial strain was finally at a point where I couldn’t cope. My most important work is raising my babies, enjoying the time I have with them, and enjoying my marriage.
Aside from that: I truly feel that my biggest impact in birth justice and improving birth is right here. Working as a doula. I can do my best and more important work here, in facilities that try to limit options and coerce birthing people into things that they don’t want.
So yes, I am sad that midwifery isn’t in the cards for me. I am grateful for the midwives who have believed in me and taught me skills that are invaluable. The art of midwifery shook me to my core, showed me what birth should really look like, and made me the person that I am today. In addition to that, midwifery school is HARD. There are limited opportunities for apprenticeship, a huge financial burden, racism and bigotry, and abuse of students is rampant. I certainly do not regret my five year path of pursuing midwifery, but I am feeling liberated by stepping away. I’m ready and it feels good.
Here’s to a busy year for my doula practice doing what I love: supporting and educating families as they enter parenthood.