From the moment that we can talk, people tell us that we shouldn’t appreciate our bodies. We shouldn’t flaunt our sexuality. Expressing your sexuality as a woman is always met with criticism.
Pair that with being a mother and you get, “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!”
So.. not only are you labeled promiscuous, but your parenting skills are also called into question.
What about the children, Sandra? How do you think they got here?
There are articles and posts circulating online about women familiarizing themselves with their bodies, enjoying themselves and bouncing back after birth. However, the shaming occurs each and every time a woman (especially a mother) is open about embracing their sexuality.
This sends the message that one can’t be a mother and be sexual. Wrong.
The Madonna-Whore Complex is to blame, here. This complex is a thought that divides women into two categories: Madonnas and Whores. The nurturing and the depraved. We don’t talk about or celebrate the multifaceted identities of women, and especially not mothers- as independent and sexual beings with carnal desires.
The worst part of the sexuality shaming is that it often comes from other women. Sofia Vergara, Jenny McCarthy, Kim Kardashian, Beyonce- they’ve all been shamed for it. However, we can slap any celebrity father on the cover of a magazine in just his underwear and the crowd cheers. It’s as though there is something about female sexuality, and specifically the sexuality of mothers, that is threatening.
Women are sexual creatures. The desire to orgasm doesn’t simply stop when we become mothers. Showing off your body and loving the changes it’s made after growing tiny people isn’t a bad thing. If we can award Bill Clinton with “Father of the Year” after his risqué behavior, we can stop being assholes to moms who like getting laid.
Your sex life has exactly nothing to do with your parenting.